Carnival
by Native
Summary: When Atsushi sees him for the first time, he cannot help the taunt. Murasakibara/Kise


**Title**: Carnival

**Author**: Native / Dawnaz

**Genre**: canon, angst, one-sided interest

**Rating**: PG

**Note: **It almost ended up as a tennis!AU, eh. :) Ah, and – please keep in mind that English isn't my native language!

**Note2:** Many thanks to dreams of destiny for his help!

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><p><strong>CARNIVAL<strong>

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><p>When Atsushi sees him for the first time, he cannot help the taunt.<p>

Later, though, he finds himself watching the new player with an unusual intensity, especially for him. "Kise", he's called, seems to have been gifted with seemingly endless possibilities. He is not Mine-chin, that's for sure, but there is something that makes him look at his new teammate as if he was a sweet that he didn't know how to eat. The other boy is – "_versatile_", he hears Kuro-chin say one time, and there's some truth in that – he's able to learn whatever you throw at him, it appears, to do almost everything without needing to put any real effort in it, to run, dribble, shoot and score as if it was a easy as breathing – a bit like Atsushi himself.

Ha. If it wasn't for the other freaks of what they started to call "Generation of Miracles", he'd probably be at the top. That wasn't mean to be, though – he was unlucky, in a way. And he was not.

Soon enough, the tall boy realizes that they have, in reality, next to nothing in common, but even then, he cannot stop his watching. In between classes, when he turns to go home, how he's eating, in PE or in the halls – he's always throwing a quick glance at the blonde boy, who is ridiculously easy to spot, especially for someone like Atsushi. Atsushi who sees –

How Kise-chin doesn't have that much strength to begin with, but then that's probably what allows him to be this balanced, what gives him what it takes to make this strange skill of his work. "Copycat", they call him, the one who can _become_ them – be who he _wants_ to be – and when they do, Atsushi hears "monster" – and he glances at his big hands, and his long, long arms and legs, before looking up and everything seems so small and distant, so far, far away from where he's standing – _this can never change_, he knows.

He must be sharp in his own way, to understand so quickly the mechanics of what he's mimicking, Atsushi thinks one time, before quickly dismissing the thought. Nah – Kise-chin's just a basketball moron, like everyone else in this team, save for himself. Not that he cares.

It is well-known that Murasakibara doesn't even like the sport, at all. Basketball is only a way of passing time, of gaining – _easy pride_ – of using these limbs he had so much trouble living with (before). Yes – there's – this _thing_ he's starting to _hate_ (he wasn't always this way) which he's pretty good at – everything is so natural, y'know, and he has this _body_, and he doesn't need to _work_ to achieve what others wouldn't even _dream_ of doing, and yet –

No matter how many times Atsushi sends him away, Kise-chin don't seem to be deterred; he'll try again and again and again to bring them all together, to strengthen the bonds that, the tall boy feels, are already starting to wither. This year or the next, maybe, they'd be gone, and there was nothing that the blonde could do about it, though you could always praise him for trying – especially when he doesn't know what he is trying for (stupid).

In the end, you never understand how he can be so _disgusting_ – loving the sport so _fucking much_, even when being _like this_, giving _everything_ he can to basketball, watching Mine-chin so _closely_ –

What you know, though, what you_ know_ is that he can never become you _- _(and you can never be him, either); what you know is that you two together - doesn't add up anywhere; what you know is that you will never, _ever_, love it (again), and how could you when you just have to be, to breathe, to live to excel?_ -_ when he, he – he – he smiles, and _laughs, _and_ plays_. He's not the same as you.

Whatever may be yours, you always end up yearning for what you don't own, which is often something that you simply can't have. You learned that lesson soon enough, didn't you?

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><p><strong>END<strong>


End file.
